Tears and Joy
Proverbs 17:22 - “A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.”
In the last three weeks in our Healing Balm Bible Study, I started with the basics of how to get started on finding healing for your PTSD, depression, anxiety, a loss, or a trial.
Just to recap, the first week I talked about finding healing through God’s Word and prayer. Just like when we go to the Doctor for physical healing, we need the Bible and open communication with God for spiritual healing.
The second week I talked about finding healing through your circle of friendships. When you have friends that encourage you to grow closer to God in low times you will find it easier to keep your focus on God. Your friends around you can lift you up so you can stay focused on God even in those low times. Also, you can do the same for your friends as well!
The third week I talked about finding healing through your local church. Being involved in a ministry at your church and building Christian relationships can encourage you to be a blessing to others. Being a blessing and serving others will make your heart happy.
Serving is the best way to look beyond yourself, beyond your feelings or trials and to look around you to see the hurt in another’s eyes and a loss in another’s life. We all have our trials and hurts, we can see the connection we need with each other when we are all praying, loving, and encouraging each other to stay close to God.
Without the connection and support of your local church, you may find it a lot harder to stay positive during hard times or to feel like you have meaning or worth to anyone. I can say all of these things because when I wasn’t going to church, I felt like that.
We are now on our fourth week of Bible Study here and I wanted to go into a lighter note. When you are healing over a loss of a loved one, when you are trying to make sense of why God is allowing you to walk through this dark valley, can you still see joy?
I want to share a story with you. Two years ago, I had a miscarriage and I remember at the time I didn’t want another baby at the time and I cried when I found out I was pregnant. Over time my feelings changed and I strongly felt I was having a girl and was imaging the future of her life, her first time talking, walking, watching princess movies together. My husband and I fell in love with her! I talked and sang to her. Two months into my pregnancy I had a miscarriage.
Jim and I named our baby Taylor Xoan because Taylor means “to cut off” and Xoan means “God is good”. At first, I felt like me not wanting Taylor is what caused the miscarriage. I was broken because I knew that was the baby girl I did eventually want. My arms ached to hold my baby.
I wanted to see what she would have looked like and to see if her hair would be blonde or brown. If her eyes would be blue or hazel. If she would have a calm spirit like my husband or a stubborn one like mine.
Through all of this, I leaned on my friends, my husband, and God. I had trouble trying to find joy for myself and expressing joy over my friends having babies. In all of this, I was barely hanging on to God and my support. Only God could have shown a light on my broken heart and heal it again. God helped me to see the joy again and it happened through my boys.
I can’t remember what made me laugh but it was watching the boys just do what they do, be boys being goofy. As I was laughing, I could feel my love coming back to me. More love for my boys and husband than ever before. My boys didn’t change, they were just being silly playing with each other, but something just clicked and I realized that I’ve had joy the whole time and it’s making silly jokes right now in front of me.
A piece of my heart is in heaven but it brings me joy to know that she is with the one who knows her best and will take care of her the best. God helped me to see joy even in sorrow.
Psalm 40:2 - “He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.”
Naomi had a lot of loss. She started off having joy, the joy of a husband and two daughters-in-law. When her husband and two sons passed away, she felt deep sorrow and even asked that her name be changed from Naomi (pleasant) to Mara (bitter).
Naomi didn't see the purpose God had for her through her daughter-in-law Ruth. Ruth suffered great loss as well, she lost her husband, sister-in-law, father-in-law, and brother-in-law. Even with all that loss, Ruth wanted to remain by Naomi's side as a support and comfort.
In the end, Ruth and Naomi were both blessed and Naomi's joy was restored. Naomi became a widow that was redeemed through the compassion of Ruth and others around her. Naomi went from joy to a loss to restored joy again (Ruth 1:8-18).
I still have high and low days, days that can really drain me physically because of what goes on in my head mentally. However, when you don’t lose sight of your joy you can see joy even in your deepest sorrow.
What gives you joy? Write them down. You can go deep or keep it simple.
This is what gives me joy:
My salvation, my husband, my children, my cats, my home, flowers, my close friends, my church family, technology, ice cream, summer nights at my friend Teresa’s house, fireflies, Long talks with my Grandma Doris, Phone calls from my brothers, Playing with my nieces and nephews, Christmas music, road trips, yearly camp meetings at my church, seeing my sister Evy smile, hearing wisdom from my former pastor’s wife, Ms. Priscilla.
I have many more but this is to give you an idea.
What are you thankful for? What are your blessings?
This is what I’m thankful for:
I’m thankful for my little country church that stands on the Word of God. I’m thankful for the honor of being Zalen and Brody’s Mommy. I’m thankful for the patience of my husband. God has blessed me with provision. He has also provided for our family even in the months that we didn’t know how we would have enough gas to get to work and school or enough food to last to the next paycheck. God has blessed me by placing Godly influences in my life to help me stay focused on God.
When you are feeling low take out these lists and read over them. Remind yourself that God has never left you and never will. Even during times when you feel like He has left you. You will see that you thought He left you before but was always there. He will pull you through again!
I remember one day when a close friend of mine was just having a rough day and my boys and I came over for a visit. The boys were running around playing and I was listening to her vent and then we started laughing over some of the things. Eventually, she started crying and said, “These are the moments I need when my life is like this.”
God will use others around you to help you see the joy again, don’t ignore those moments, rejoice and thank God when you can because the worse thing we can do is to become bitter or bitter at God.
God may even use you during your trial to be a blessing and bring joy to another. It sounds backward but when you think about it it’s not that crazy. Bringing someone else joy can cause a contagious reaction like a sneeze.
Don’t think that you shouldn’t mourn over a loss, or not work through your depression or anxiety, but don’t stay there.
Job 8:21, “He will once again fill your mouth with laughter
and your lips with shouts of joy.”
God will once again bring back your laughter and joy.
Until then remember the laughter and joy He has already blessed you with.
Sometimes when I’m feeling down, I like to watch cat videos and look at silly pictures and videos that my husband and boys have done on my phone. I also love reading puny jokes. My son Zalen tells some awesome punny jokes and he likes to make up his own jokes that don’t make any sense and end up funny just because of that.
What are some things you like to do when you're having a bad day?
Write those down and then go back to that list,
go back to those cat videos and punny jokes.
I hope these tools will help you to keep your joy even in trials, sorrow, or anxiety. Look over your lists and put them in visible places so you stay reminded of the blessings around you.
I want to end this episode with a few verses that you could add to your lists as well. These verses will help you to focus on where your true joy is found.
True joy is found in God’s word, in obedience, and in salvation.
When you have true joy only found in Christ you can see the simple joys around you in hard times.
Psalm 119:35 - “Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found.”
Galatians 5:22-23 - “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!”
Psalm 1:2 - “But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night.”
Just to recap, the first week I talked about finding healing through God’s Word and prayer. Just like when we go to the Doctor for physical healing, we need the Bible and open communication with God for spiritual healing.
The second week I talked about finding healing through your circle of friendships. When you have friends that encourage you to grow closer to God in low times you will find it easier to keep your focus on God. Your friends around you can lift you up so you can stay focused on God even in those low times. Also, you can do the same for your friends as well!
The third week I talked about finding healing through your local church. Being involved in a ministry at your church and building Christian relationships can encourage you to be a blessing to others. Being a blessing and serving others will make your heart happy.
Serving is the best way to look beyond yourself, beyond your feelings or trials and to look around you to see the hurt in another’s eyes and a loss in another’s life. We all have our trials and hurts, we can see the connection we need with each other when we are all praying, loving, and encouraging each other to stay close to God.
Without the connection and support of your local church, you may find it a lot harder to stay positive during hard times or to feel like you have meaning or worth to anyone. I can say all of these things because when I wasn’t going to church, I felt like that.
We are now on our fourth week of Bible Study here and I wanted to go into a lighter note. When you are healing over a loss of a loved one, when you are trying to make sense of why God is allowing you to walk through this dark valley, can you still see joy?
I want to share a story with you. Two years ago, I had a miscarriage and I remember at the time I didn’t want another baby at the time and I cried when I found out I was pregnant. Over time my feelings changed and I strongly felt I was having a girl and was imaging the future of her life, her first time talking, walking, watching princess movies together. My husband and I fell in love with her! I talked and sang to her. Two months into my pregnancy I had a miscarriage.
Jim and I named our baby Taylor Xoan because Taylor means “to cut off” and Xoan means “God is good”. At first, I felt like me not wanting Taylor is what caused the miscarriage. I was broken because I knew that was the baby girl I did eventually want. My arms ached to hold my baby.
I wanted to see what she would have looked like and to see if her hair would be blonde or brown. If her eyes would be blue or hazel. If she would have a calm spirit like my husband or a stubborn one like mine.
Through all of this, I leaned on my friends, my husband, and God. I had trouble trying to find joy for myself and expressing joy over my friends having babies. In all of this, I was barely hanging on to God and my support. Only God could have shown a light on my broken heart and heal it again. God helped me to see the joy again and it happened through my boys.
I can’t remember what made me laugh but it was watching the boys just do what they do, be boys being goofy. As I was laughing, I could feel my love coming back to me. More love for my boys and husband than ever before. My boys didn’t change, they were just being silly playing with each other, but something just clicked and I realized that I’ve had joy the whole time and it’s making silly jokes right now in front of me.
A piece of my heart is in heaven but it brings me joy to know that she is with the one who knows her best and will take care of her the best. God helped me to see joy even in sorrow.
Psalm 40:2 - “He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.”
Naomi had a lot of loss. She started off having joy, the joy of a husband and two daughters-in-law. When her husband and two sons passed away, she felt deep sorrow and even asked that her name be changed from Naomi (pleasant) to Mara (bitter).
Naomi didn't see the purpose God had for her through her daughter-in-law Ruth. Ruth suffered great loss as well, she lost her husband, sister-in-law, father-in-law, and brother-in-law. Even with all that loss, Ruth wanted to remain by Naomi's side as a support and comfort.
In the end, Ruth and Naomi were both blessed and Naomi's joy was restored. Naomi became a widow that was redeemed through the compassion of Ruth and others around her. Naomi went from joy to a loss to restored joy again (Ruth 1:8-18).
I still have high and low days, days that can really drain me physically because of what goes on in my head mentally. However, when you don’t lose sight of your joy you can see joy even in your deepest sorrow.
What gives you joy? Write them down. You can go deep or keep it simple.
This is what gives me joy:
My salvation, my husband, my children, my cats, my home, flowers, my close friends, my church family, technology, ice cream, summer nights at my friend Teresa’s house, fireflies, Long talks with my Grandma Doris, Phone calls from my brothers, Playing with my nieces and nephews, Christmas music, road trips, yearly camp meetings at my church, seeing my sister Evy smile, hearing wisdom from my former pastor’s wife, Ms. Priscilla.
I have many more but this is to give you an idea.
What are you thankful for? What are your blessings?
This is what I’m thankful for:
I’m thankful for my little country church that stands on the Word of God. I’m thankful for the honor of being Zalen and Brody’s Mommy. I’m thankful for the patience of my husband. God has blessed me with provision. He has also provided for our family even in the months that we didn’t know how we would have enough gas to get to work and school or enough food to last to the next paycheck. God has blessed me by placing Godly influences in my life to help me stay focused on God.
When you are feeling low take out these lists and read over them. Remind yourself that God has never left you and never will. Even during times when you feel like He has left you. You will see that you thought He left you before but was always there. He will pull you through again!
I remember one day when a close friend of mine was just having a rough day and my boys and I came over for a visit. The boys were running around playing and I was listening to her vent and then we started laughing over some of the things. Eventually, she started crying and said, “These are the moments I need when my life is like this.”
God will use others around you to help you see the joy again, don’t ignore those moments, rejoice and thank God when you can because the worse thing we can do is to become bitter or bitter at God.
God may even use you during your trial to be a blessing and bring joy to another. It sounds backward but when you think about it it’s not that crazy. Bringing someone else joy can cause a contagious reaction like a sneeze.
Don’t think that you shouldn’t mourn over a loss, or not work through your depression or anxiety, but don’t stay there.
Job 8:21, “He will once again fill your mouth with laughter
and your lips with shouts of joy.”
God will once again bring back your laughter and joy.
Until then remember the laughter and joy He has already blessed you with.
Sometimes when I’m feeling down, I like to watch cat videos and look at silly pictures and videos that my husband and boys have done on my phone. I also love reading puny jokes. My son Zalen tells some awesome punny jokes and he likes to make up his own jokes that don’t make any sense and end up funny just because of that.
What are some things you like to do when you're having a bad day?
Write those down and then go back to that list,
go back to those cat videos and punny jokes.
I hope these tools will help you to keep your joy even in trials, sorrow, or anxiety. Look over your lists and put them in visible places so you stay reminded of the blessings around you.
I want to end this episode with a few verses that you could add to your lists as well. These verses will help you to focus on where your true joy is found.
True joy is found in God’s word, in obedience, and in salvation.
When you have true joy only found in Christ you can see the simple joys around you in hard times.
Psalm 119:35 - “Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found.”
Galatians 5:22-23 - “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!”
Psalm 1:2 - “But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night.”
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